Breaking up – a survival guide

A break-up can shake the very foundations of your world. Romantic rejection is simply one of the most painful experiences a human heart can take.

If your heart is broken, this is the time to put yourself and your feelings first – to pamper yourself. But there’s a balance to be struck between acknowledging and expressing your feelings and wallowing in them.

Actually, you’re entitled to wallow, but just for a little while. You have a life to live and there are plenty of dates waiting for you depending on where you feel comfortable looking for love. Many, many new singles are looking to the land of cyber space to make new and convenient romantic connections, and what’s more, looking on line for love is even free depending on which one of the free dating sites you decide to join…

We all dwell on the past, but one trap to avoid is thinking that he or she “was the only one for me”. Think about it…how many times have you been in love and had your heart broken? How many times have you thought, ‘I’ll never find another one I love as much?’ Chances are, quite a few times. Remember that you’ve lived through this before and come out the other end ready to date again. Knowing that you’ve coped in the past is a great tonic for a broken heart. It shows healing is possible.

Other remedies for broken hearts include…

* Getting it out of your system – writing in a journal is an unparalleled way of being able to honestly and privately get your feelings out. It has a cathartic effect and many people swear by it. Sometimes when you see all your feelings laid out on paper, it helps neutralize them.

* Talk to friends – everyone has had their heart broken, so there’s no shortage of shoulders to cry on. Broken-hearted men can find particular solace talking to a platonic female friend, whereas women can often use the perspectives offered by a male buddy, even though female friends are often the first port of call and will give you the love and care you need right now.

* Pamper yourself – absolutely spoil yourself. Women, especially, can find a confidence boost in beauty treatments and both sexes can find solace in a warm tub with their favorite music playing. Go away for a day or the weekend – a change of perspective can help.

* Have some fun – you may think you’re not up to it yet, but a girls or boys night out might be just what the doctor ordered.

* Don’t beat yourself up – a relationship breaks up usually for a variety of factors. Maybe there are things you’d do differently next time around. You do need to be honest with yourself, but you don’t need to turn a break-up into an exercise of self-hatred.

* Take stock of what you’ve got – there’s more to you than your romantic life.

* And finally, don’t be afraid of getting out there again. We wouldn’t feel the amazing highs romance can bring without knowing about the lows. As soon as you’re ready, put your profile up on a free dating site and put yourself back out there, you will soon realize that there is life after your ex.

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