Dating your friends ex – should you go there?

There are many risky elements that will always be associated when dating your friends ex. Whether it’s the right thing to do or not, someone is going to get hurt, and tough decisions will need to be made.

Romance and lust are extremely hard to disperse if two peoples desire to be together are strong and unrelenting. And regardless of who stands in the way, nothing will stop the inevitable connection taking place.

There will always be debate as to whether this is considered an act of betrayal, or simply part and parcel of two people moving on. Is dating your friends ex fair play, because let’s face it, if someone has broken up with their ex, nobody has the right to claim ownership or exclusivity over that person – they are now single, right!

But…is getting together with your friends ex rubbing salt into the wounds, is such a situation as cut and dry as ‘now that person is single, it’s game on!’ When is the timing appropriate for you to go where what was once considered strictly off limits?

Perhaps the answer all lies in the timing of when your friend actually broke up with his/her ex. Allowing some time for wounds to heal would be a compromise that could see you get the girl (or guy) and still retain your friendship. Good friends are hard to come by, so consider this very carefully before you broach this tricky terrain.

Apart from the potential fall out you face directly from your friend, dating your friends ex has the potential for many other pit falls people don’t often consider or think of. What about once mutual friends? and turning up to functions where you see full view of your ex and friend together in love. Do you retain the once mutual friends, or does your ex? History will show, that initially, it’s extremely difficult for you and your ex to maintain the same group of friends you once shared.

On the other side of the coin, what about the thought of dating someone who has been previously sexually involved with one of your friends? Is that little sub-conscious voice always going to be there in the back of the minds of your friend and your new love interest, do they both often think about when they were together, and is there a chance of a re-occurrence of sex, or is there an element of lust that still remains and will gravity find its way in pulling them back together.

When people make decisions to inter twine there romantic relationships, there truly are no guarantees of how these new controversial beginnings will unfold. Do you need permission to start dating your friends ex?…

Not as such but we think you should be forward in discussing such a scenario with your friend and do avoid being sneaky about such a touchy issue that has the potential to ruin lives and the fallout between friends in common is also at risk.

So yes you have every right to date your friends ex, but to do so in a deceptive manner will be seen as an obvious sign of a lack of character, but being open, honest and tactful will give you the best chance of retaining your friend as well.

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