Stepping out after a divorce

Divorce is one of the most painful and traumatic events a person can go through. If you’ve gone through a divorce – or been in a long-term relationship that’s come to an end – you’ll know that it takes everything you’ve got to move on.

But moving on is crucial and getting out there and dating again will boost your confidence and help put the past in the ancient history books, where it belongs.

For divorcees, free dating websites are a great way of meeting new people. If you have children, you can be upfront about this fact before you’ve met your potential mate face-to-face.

Estimates vary, but between 40 and 50 percent of first marriages in America end in divorce, and you may find yourself meeting someone in a bar or singles chat rooms who has gone through exactly the same experience as yourself. You both may be a little cautious, and this can be a good thing. But dating is all about fun and meeting people – take it slowly and not too seriously.

The key is getting yourself together before playing the dating game. After a break-up, there’s the feeling of a massive void in your life – a huge hole that seems as though it will never be filled. After time, however, you find that slowly, slowly, that void is filled and you start to feel more complete than you ever thought you would.

Claire Arene, a therapist from Illinois, offers some simple tips on the website 4therapy.com: “Recognize the emptiness which has been produced by the loss of your marriage or union. Trying to pretend it doesn’t exist won’t work. Acknowledged, there may not be a void if the relationship was over long before it in reality finished, or if you are relieved it is over. Although, if these assertions do not apply to you take notice of what you miss nowadays compared to what you once had. Recognizing the vacuum helps you grieve entirely and hurries up the healing process. Now that you have confronted the realities of your current state, you have the challenge of figuring out how to fill up the emptiness in your life; having optimistic challenges to focus on can be very healthy when you have endured a loss”. She also offers this piece of wisdom: “Nurture yourself like never before.”

That’s right –be kind to yourself. Surround yourself with family and friends that understand, and be sure to share with them your new dating adventures. Watch out for the ‘rebound effect’ and be true to yourself. It’s tough, it’s painful and it takes time to find life and love after a divorce – but a better life awaits, and with dating sites booming, more opportunities than ever really do exist to find love again.

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